wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
