why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
