Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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