the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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