How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
