I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
