Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
