All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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