So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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