I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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