There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
