ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
sex in a hospital.. check
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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