the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
