somebody snuck up and got me drunk
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
