I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
