when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
