I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
