You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
