There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
there is puke in my bra ... again
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
