Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
