The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
