Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
