I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
