guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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