I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
