wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
