During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
