AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
