Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
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