Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
