Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dick very happy bro
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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