We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
