All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
