dude i'm inner monologue high
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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