This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
