Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
