Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize