she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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