I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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