Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
