I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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