she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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