I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
