so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Text me some of your sweat
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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