woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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