Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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