In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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