i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Enjoy the penises
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
