Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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