Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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