I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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