He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
