Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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