sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
