It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
