we're blogging at a bar
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
