did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
