yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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