i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
