I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i dont even know how to be here
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
